What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
