That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
