some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize