Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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