i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize