Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day

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(573): View more from Missouri

i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella

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(330): View more from Ohio

he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(585): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am

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(573): View more from Missouri

the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl

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(716): View more from New York

I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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(816): View more from Missouri

She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"

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