Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time

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(614): View more from Ohio

Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?

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(208): View more from Idaho

its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they

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(847): View more from Illinois

stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue

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(858): View more from California

the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.

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(+49): View more from Germany

Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?

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