Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.