I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
