Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
All I want is dick and wine.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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