I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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