I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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