Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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