Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dicks are not precious.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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