Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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