My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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