i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
