i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
