Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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