Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
