Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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