bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
