She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dicks are not precious.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
