K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
