I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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