and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
