i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.