I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...