If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus