Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
