fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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