dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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