Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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