No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
