Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
