I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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