There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize