FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
