Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
where are you?
Hypothermia
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
