I hate your face
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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