My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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