I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize