I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
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You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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