Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize