You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize