I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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