I met the friendliest cop last night
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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