hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
