when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
