just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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