have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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