worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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