Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
