Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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