Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
