If i come over, it means nothing
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
