maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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