Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
